Praying for Healing

 Prayer and healing

Getting out of bed with a nauseous stomach and a stuffy head as I slowly recover from a flu bug. (Thank You, Lord, that my COVID test came back negative.) Streaming obsessive thoughts about me and my misery. Longing for healing. And feeling like a self-centered Christian who disappoints God and drives nonbelievers even further from the gospel.

Staring in the bathroom mirror, thinking back on the book about prayer that I was reading in bed last night. The author* questions our American tendency to focus the majority of our prayer requests on our physical comfort. Shouldn’t we be more concerned about peace and justice and caring for God’s creation? My heart sank as I waded through page after page of examples and illustrations. People interceding in ways that go far beyond anything I’ve ever done. After what I’ve just read, how can I even consider asking God yet again for renewed health?

Then I remember that the writer also points out Jesus’ loving concern for the physical wholeness of the people who surrounded Him as He walked this earth. It’s not like He doesn’t care. It’s not like we shouldn’t ever pray for ourselves when we’re sick or injured.

After looking at the issue of supernatural healing from different angles, the author provides some suggestions for how to pray. One in particular springs to mind now: It’s good and right to bring our heart’s desires to God’s throne. He already knows them better than we do, but it helps us to express them honestly and openly to One who loves us deeply. So I pause in the middle of my morning routine and give it a try.

My heart’s desires

I would love to be stronger and healthier for my own sake. This is my desire. But is it my greatest longing? Would I be truly satisfied and fulfilled if I could experience normal energy levels for my age, but nothing more? No. Here, God, are the deepest yearnings of my heart:

I desire to better serve You as You’ve called me to do. To spend more time writing. To get my first book published so that my readers may find Your healing, and so that I would have the funds to help others in need. Especially that one young man mired in medical debt. You’ve impressed his situation on my soul in a special way, and I’m doing what I can to help him out, but it’s so very little compared to the enormity of what he owes. If I had more strength and energy, I could do so much more to serve You in the ways that You’ve led me to.

I desire to better serve others by spending more time with friends. Between COVID closures in 2020 and new health issues in 2021, I’ve only sat one-on-one with a companion a handful of times in the last two years. Yes, I need this fellowship for my own mental health, but I also long to be there for someone else. I remember past visits and the look of contentment and pleasure on my friend’s face after sharing our burdens, our joys and our sorrows, our struggles and our faith. If I had more strength and energy, I could do so much more to minister to my friends.

I desire to stop weighing down my loved ones with my needs. I’m younger than most of my friends, and they have enough troubles of their own. Several months ago, when I was going through a bout of gastritis and looking for help, nearly everyone I talked to was either awaiting medical test results or scheduling minor surgery. If I had more strength and energy, I could lighten the load of worry and of requests for assistance that I’m placing on my family and friends.

It helps to voice these thoughts to God. It turns my focus from selfish desires to compassion for others. So often my prayers for healing are just brief pleas for relief.

But maybe . . .

Then a series of new ideas enters my mind and my prayer continues:

Maybe I can better serve You as I identify more fully with others who are suffering. I tend to think that I’ve been through enough different kinds of pain that I can empathize well with those who are hurting. But maybe my current challenge will tweak my character in just the right way so that I’ll have just the right words to say to the next person who crosses my path.

Maybe I can better serve my friends by allowing them to minister to me. Maybe they experience the same desire to help others as I do. Maybe my self-reliance is actually a hindrance to Your loving intention to bless those friends by giving them the opportunity to sacrifice for me.

Maybe I could better witness to unsaved family members by letting them see my weaknesses and how You strengthen me, instead of hiding my needs in order to prevent them from worrying.

I’m filled with a deep sense of peace as these thoughts flow through my mind. God’s will is always higher and better and richer than mine. My greatest longing is for His will to be done. I don’t always remember that. (And I don’t always remember that He has grown these desires within me. I can’t take credit for them. Thanks, Sam, for reminding me of this truth.)

Your will be done

A few months ago, I read two best-selling novels in the same genre written within the last ten years or so by two different authors. The first was deeply satisfying. Each character was unique, believable, and well-developed. The plot was intriguing, with some humor and enough twists to keep me wondering what would happen next. The author’s creativity and imagination jumped off of every page. I didn’t want the story to end.

The second book was entertaining and full of action. The characters were interesting but kind of flat. The plot and the bad guys were pretty standard for the genre. I didn’t finish the book.

After returning both novels to the library, I thought about the analogy between good vs. great authors and my will vs. God’s will. At its best, having my will is like reading that good author. It can be fun and entertaining. It can meet some of my emotional needs. It can provide warm memories for years to come.

By contrast, having God’s will done in my life is like reading that great author. Every event, every encounter will have its perfect place. Everything will tie together to create a beautiful, artistic whole. Pain and conflict will occur along the way, but the end result will be intense pleasure and lasting fulfillment.

Thank You, Lord, for leading my mind back to that book on prayer and the author’s wise advice about bringing our hearts’ deepest desires to You. May my greatest longing always be for Your gracious, creative, profound, and fully satisfying will to be done.


*I’m leaving the author unnamed because I’m not sure that I’m representing his views accurately. My thoughts here are merely my impression, which could be influenced by my emotional state and my difficulty thinking through the fog in my head.

 

The Fruit of the Spirit

 The fruit

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

Who are these verses describing? Us, as followers of Christ? Yes, to some extent. The Holy Spirit is growing these characteristics in us. But like the produce in my grocery store, every piece of my fruit is imperfect—unripened, bruised, or broken. There is only One who always, eternally displays this list of virtues: God. And yet there are fruits listed here that I just don’t think about very often in regard to Him, other than His action in developing them in us. And there are some that the Bible rarely uses to describe Him.

Love, patience, faithfulness

The Scriptures frequently associate three of these words with His nature: love, patience, and faithfulness. Without these qualities, there would be no possibility of my having a personal relationship with Him.

God’s love is expressed in His willingness to go to the greatest lengths to save me.

He demonstrates His patience every time I defy or disappoint Him. He doesn’t just zap me on the spot or instantly revoke my salvation; when I repent, He patiently forgives me and draws me back into His loving arms. Over and over again.

In His faithfulness, He provides for my deepest needs. Daily. Sometimes moment by moment.

Goodness

God’s Word often says that He is good, especially in the Old Testament. But it seems like the only time I hear Christians make this claim is when He says yes to a particular prayer or provides for our needs in unexpected ways. Do I only remember His goodness when He does something good for me?

God is always good. He cannot be anything else. He’s good in the sense that He has no capacity for doing evil. He never sins. He never does wrong. All that He does springs from His total goodness—even in His judgment, even when He allows terrible things to happen. Because of His innate goodness, He can fulfill His promise that all that we witness and experience—including that judgment and those terrible things—will work together for good for His followers (Romans 8:28).

These four words are used throughout the Bible to describe God’s character and actions. But what about the other five fruit?

Joy and peace

I understand that our God must be a God of joy and peace or I wouldn’t be able to bear this fruit. But when I’m struggling and hurting and suffering, I focus on, and I need to know, His sympathy, His sadness, His aching heart. It’s hard to imagine God smiling away in perfect peace as He sees my pain and the brokenness of His creation. And yet, somehow, he always dwells in joy and peace. Maybe because He sees below the surface to the good stuff underneath.

When I’m mourning a loss, He knows that I only grieve for those I’ve loved. That love was deeper and longer-lasting than my grief will ever be. My broken heart heals with time, but the years can never erase the blessings I experience because of the love that I’ve shared with someone else.

When I’m sick or injured, it feels like my whole life is wrapped up in my agony. But it’s actually only one small part of me. I’m still His child, reflecting His image, growing into His fruit-of-the-Spirit likeness. Much of that growth comes because of my suffering.

Maybe God is rejoicing in the good in my life even during my bad times. Maybe His peace stems from looking ahead to see how my light and momentary troubles will bring greater love and joy and hope and faith into His creation. Maybe He really can be filled with unspeakable joy and unshakable peace even as He shares my sorrow.

Kindness and gentleness

I like the idea of a kind, gentle God. One who treats me with tenderness and understanding and concern for my well-being. This is the God I turn to when I’m hurting.

But I can only find a few verses that explicitly state that these qualities are a part of who He is. God’s kindness is meant to bring us to repentance (Romans 2:4). Jesus describes Himself as gentle (Matthew 11:29). Most of the other references to these two traits are reminders that we need to exhibit them.

Illustrations of God’s kindness and gentleness appear throughout the Bible, though, especially in the person of Jesus. His actions speak louder than many thousands of words ever could.

Self-control

When I first started reflecting on the fruit of the Spirit as aspects of God’s character, I wasn’t sure that self-control applied to Him. I was thinking of it as something we fallen humans must exercise to keep from destroying ourselves and our planet. We need it to resist the evil around us and within us. But God is perfect. And perfectly good. Why would He need self-control? How do we see Him demonstrating it?

Then one day while I was reading from the prophets, I had one of those “Well, duh!” moments. In His mercy, God is continually exercising His self-control as His precious but rebellious creatures despise and defy Him. The books of the prophets are full of descriptions of His intense and well-justified wrath. Without His self-control, He would have destroyed this planet long ago.

Wrath

But that potent word “wrath” bothers me. How can a God of wrath also be the source and the prime example of the fruit of the Spirit? Isn’t there some kind of contradiction here?

I look to Jesus’ example in the Gospels for an answer to this dilemma. And here’s what I see: Jesus violently removing the money-changers from the Temple courts. Twice (John 2:13-17, Matthew 21:12-13). Jesus scathingly humiliating and reprimanding the religious leaders of His day in front of large groups of people. Many times (e.g. Matthew chapters 12 and 23). Jesus displaying His wrath.

And how did the poor, the weak, the weary, and the down-trodden respond? The Bible indicates that they were initially puzzled as they marveled at His audacity. But He attracted many followers from among this group. They must have come to realize that His wrath was turned against those who were abusing and tormenting the vulnerable and the helpless. Those who claimed to speak for God while coldly enforcing the letter of their laws and ignoring the spirit of His laws. The common people could see, and delight in, the absolute fairness of Jesus’ wrathful judgments.

One of the biggest struggles I have with the God of the Bible is the concept of hell. How could I ever be at peace in heaven, knowing that someone that I loved in this life was suffering through eternal torment? Maybe, just like the poorest people who followed and worshipped Jesus when He scolded the Pharisees and cleansed the Temple, maybe in the next life my eyes will be opened to see God’s perfect fairness, and I will experience His perfect peace.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These aren’t just character traits that the Holy Spirit is growing in us. Together, they make up a beautiful description of God Himself.