Praying for Healing

 Prayer and healing

Getting out of bed with a nauseous stomach and a stuffy head as I slowly recover from a flu bug. (Thank You, Lord, that my COVID test came back negative.) Streaming obsessive thoughts about me and my misery. Longing for healing. And feeling like a self-centered Christian who disappoints God and drives nonbelievers even further from the gospel.

Staring in the bathroom mirror, thinking back on the book about prayer that I was reading in bed last night. The author* questions our American tendency to focus the majority of our prayer requests on our physical comfort. Shouldn’t we be more concerned about peace and justice and caring for God’s creation? My heart sank as I waded through page after page of examples and illustrations. People interceding in ways that go far beyond anything I’ve ever done. After what I’ve just read, how can I even consider asking God yet again for renewed health?

Then I remember that the writer also points out Jesus’ loving concern for the physical wholeness of the people who surrounded Him as He walked this earth. It’s not like He doesn’t care. It’s not like we shouldn’t ever pray for ourselves when we’re sick or injured.

After looking at the issue of supernatural healing from different angles, the author provides some suggestions for how to pray. One in particular springs to mind now: It’s good and right to bring our heart’s desires to God’s throne. He already knows them better than we do, but it helps us to express them honestly and openly to One who loves us deeply. So I pause in the middle of my morning routine and give it a try.

My heart’s desires

I would love to be stronger and healthier for my own sake. This is my desire. But is it my greatest longing? Would I be truly satisfied and fulfilled if I could experience normal energy levels for my age, but nothing more? No. Here, God, are the deepest yearnings of my heart:

I desire to better serve You as You’ve called me to do. To spend more time writing. To get my first book published so that my readers may find Your healing, and so that I would have the funds to help others in need. Especially that one young man mired in medical debt. You’ve impressed his situation on my soul in a special way, and I’m doing what I can to help him out, but it’s so very little compared to the enormity of what he owes. If I had more strength and energy, I could do so much more to serve You in the ways that You’ve led me to.

I desire to better serve others by spending more time with friends. Between COVID closures in 2020 and new health issues in 2021, I’ve only sat one-on-one with a companion a handful of times in the last two years. Yes, I need this fellowship for my own mental health, but I also long to be there for someone else. I remember past visits and the look of contentment and pleasure on my friend’s face after sharing our burdens, our joys and our sorrows, our struggles and our faith. If I had more strength and energy, I could do so much more to minister to my friends.

I desire to stop weighing down my loved ones with my needs. I’m younger than most of my friends, and they have enough troubles of their own. Several months ago, when I was going through a bout of gastritis and looking for help, nearly everyone I talked to was either awaiting medical test results or scheduling minor surgery. If I had more strength and energy, I could lighten the load of worry and of requests for assistance that I’m placing on my family and friends.

It helps to voice these thoughts to God. It turns my focus from selfish desires to compassion for others. So often my prayers for healing are just brief pleas for relief.

But maybe . . .

Then a series of new ideas enters my mind and my prayer continues:

Maybe I can better serve You as I identify more fully with others who are suffering. I tend to think that I’ve been through enough different kinds of pain that I can empathize well with those who are hurting. But maybe my current challenge will tweak my character in just the right way so that I’ll have just the right words to say to the next person who crosses my path.

Maybe I can better serve my friends by allowing them to minister to me. Maybe they experience the same desire to help others as I do. Maybe my self-reliance is actually a hindrance to Your loving intention to bless those friends by giving them the opportunity to sacrifice for me.

Maybe I could better witness to unsaved family members by letting them see my weaknesses and how You strengthen me, instead of hiding my needs in order to prevent them from worrying.

I’m filled with a deep sense of peace as these thoughts flow through my mind. God’s will is always higher and better and richer than mine. My greatest longing is for His will to be done. I don’t always remember that. (And I don’t always remember that He has grown these desires within me. I can’t take credit for them. Thanks, Sam, for reminding me of this truth.)

Your will be done

A few months ago, I read two best-selling novels in the same genre written within the last ten years or so by two different authors. The first was deeply satisfying. Each character was unique, believable, and well-developed. The plot was intriguing, with some humor and enough twists to keep me wondering what would happen next. The author’s creativity and imagination jumped off of every page. I didn’t want the story to end.

The second book was entertaining and full of action. The characters were interesting but kind of flat. The plot and the bad guys were pretty standard for the genre. I didn’t finish the book.

After returning both novels to the library, I thought about the analogy between good vs. great authors and my will vs. God’s will. At its best, having my will is like reading that good author. It can be fun and entertaining. It can meet some of my emotional needs. It can provide warm memories for years to come.

By contrast, having God’s will done in my life is like reading that great author. Every event, every encounter will have its perfect place. Everything will tie together to create a beautiful, artistic whole. Pain and conflict will occur along the way, but the end result will be intense pleasure and lasting fulfillment.

Thank You, Lord, for leading my mind back to that book on prayer and the author’s wise advice about bringing our hearts’ deepest desires to You. May my greatest longing always be for Your gracious, creative, profound, and fully satisfying will to be done.


*I’m leaving the author unnamed because I’m not sure that I’m representing his views accurately. My thoughts here are merely my impression, which could be influenced by my emotional state and my difficulty thinking through the fog in my head.